Just over 6 months ago, I wrote this article for my first book. http://nobonesaboutit.blogspot.com/2007/06/something-must-be-done.html
Since that day, God has taken my family on an amazing journey of faith, testing, emotion, and anticipation while at the same time putting us through some of the most incredible, life-altering choices to make beyond our imagination.
Having a baby isn't easy. But adoption can be even harder.
Yes, you have to be called to do this.
Being called to do something means that once the emotion settles down a bit, you still feel the desire to move forward. It means, that despite obstacles, tough choices, raw emotions, stress or financial worry, that you believe and press on. It means that when you have doubts, get bored or can't wait, that you still walk in obedience. It means that despite all of the voices of opinion that come your way, the voice you hold to the most is the One that led you down this road to begin with.
When you are called, you know you are.
After 6 months of paperwork, appointments, fingerprinting, medical exams, more paperwork, interviews, paperwork, paying fees, waiting, seeking answers, forum discussions, researching special needs children who we might be willing to accept, paperwork, weekend seminars, losing weight (that would be me), getting emotional, paying more fees, studying the country, learning about another culture and race, paying even more fees, and getting emotional, we KNOW we have been called.
Even so, the full picture God has for us is usually unclear in life, until we stand in "today". For it is "today" and only "today" that we can fully experience and know the current picture called life. Yesterday is over and tomorrow remains behind the sun.
"Today" for us is about a decision we have to make. It is about a little boy all the way around the world whose Korean name means "to shed light on others" and "whose work goes well". A little boy who had a rough start to life, like his potential sisters did. He was born at 34 weeks, had low birth weight, low APGAR scores, and other post-birth trauma just like they did. All of this just to get his little life chugging along.
He has a purpose. He has a place. He has a smile that would eat you alive. He just needs a family to show it to.
That's where we come in.
He popped up a few days ago on a list of kids we check in on that have more special needs than other "more healthy" children. We had even looked into another boy a few months ago on the same list, but God made it clear the answer was "no" when the next day he was adopted by another family. So we moved on.
We are now only 6-7 families from being "next on the list" of getting a "healthy" baby. Yet, Tuesday afternoon when Julie saw this new boy listed, she immediately IM'd me about him. She seemed excited. I logged into the site, and before I could ask her where he was on the list I saw him smiling at me. He literrally looked exaclty like the "word picture" I had kept in my mind's eye this entire time of what my asian boy would look like. It was almost freaky. Most asian babies are full, round and big cause they are fed all day. But this little tike was skinny, small and cuddly like our little Chloe was.
Then I got choked up when I read his notes. A few minutes later our agency sent us his medical report and more details. I cried even more. Julie was teared up too. At the same exact time we were both having the same exact thoughts and feelings. This was how it all began six months ago when I called Julie and told her I thought we needed to switch from China to Korea and from seeking a girl to a boy. She was literally talking to her sister about that very thing before I called her. Yes, God speaks.
The little boy does have issues. His birth trauma could show effects later. He could face challenges later in life and there are some unknowns which means as a family we would have to be willing and ready to accept and deal with it. Doctors have already told us he could be a risk for this or for that. But other's are saying he shows no signs of anything wrong. He is bouncy, cute, funny and very charming.
So here we are. Facing a decision that will affect his life, our lives, our families and much, much more. We literrally have to decide if we are the family for this little baby boy in a land he does not know, from a world we have never seen, who live in opposite ends of the time clock. We could move on, wait for the phone call to come in 6-8 more weeks and pray he finds his forever family in the eyes of another, or we could become his forever family very soon. As in days, not weeks.
We could have a son before the SuperBowl the Cowboys should be in is played next Sunday. It's that real. It's that soon. It's that tough.
But doesn't the reward of a child outweigh the risk? I do know this, God adopted me as His child, and I wasn't just a risk. I was already diagnosed and still am in many ways a bonafide man of imperfection. Full of issues only He can handle. Thankfully, He does. His love, His grace is extended to us all.
I may have just answered my own questions by writing this. It seems more clear and a few more days and with a little more information I am sure it will be. But either way, in the end I get the blessing and honor of doing something for someone else besides me.
What about you? Have you been called?
If not, you will. And, you will know it.
"How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son. " Ephesians 1:3-6
(c) 2008, J. Brady
"I say it how I see it and make no bones about it!"
